By: Mia Curtis for the BSA Muse
Disclaimer: This is meant purely for entertainment purposes and is in no way directed toward our lunch staff at BSA, who we appreciate for their hard work preparing food for us every day.
Pizza
Easily the most popular lunch at BSA, the pizza is a familiar and comforting break from the typical cafeteria food. Everyone knows what pizza is. Just about everyone has had a slice or two in their life. The cafeteria used to serve a different kind of pizza seemingly every-other week. I’m sure most people remember the mini circle pizzas and the square slices however, recently, they’ve stuck to one type of pizza, which has come with some upsides as well as downsides.
Of course, It’s pizza. It’s very likely the most looked-forward to lunch on the whole cafeteria menu. However, it has some problems. The first, and biggest of these problems is definitely sauce inconsistency. One minute, you’ll be biting into a nice normal slice of pizza, and the next it’s just cheese bread. Sauce is a vital part of pizza and a lack of sauce destroys the pizza’s appeal. There are some smaller issues such as the uncanny flavor of the sauce as it sits in an odd place between sweet and savor or the sauce to crust ratio, but they are inconsequential in the shadow of sauce inconsistency.
Despite these issues, we’ll focus on the positives as they outway any criticism. First of all, temperature, the pizza’s always hot when it’s served. There’s plenty of cheese and it’s just the right amount of crust to hold the pizza together. It is not super greasy, but it isn’t dry either. The pizza isn’t anything groundbreaking or particularly special but, it’s a slice of pizza and that’s all it needs to be.
Fried Chicken
Recently, the kitchen has added a new meal to its menu: the fried chicken drumstick. This dish is typically served alongside french fries or steamed corn. The new lunch option has proven controversial, as it has caused division among students. Some enjoy the lunch, commenting on its crispy exterior and apparently tender inside. Others liken the fried chicken to “fried rat,” expressing a pointed distaste for the meal and its appearance.
As someone who has never personally tried the fried chicken drumstick, I asked several students about their personal opinions on its quality. Blanche Brody, a Junior actor says “It’s interesting. It could be a lot different, but it sure is chicken”.
Porch Longshore, another junior actor, has a similar opinion as they state “It’s a solid 2/10. It has some good parts, mostly it is very bad”.
Solidifying the generally negative views of the fried chicken, Alessandra Brown, a junior dancer says “I’d say it could be a lot worse. However, it’s also not my favorite, and on days that there is fried chicken in the cafeteria, I will usually get anything else they’re offering… it’s just kinda greasy.”
Finally, Ella Haber, a junior visual artist, describes the dish as being “like a fried clump.” She goes on to call it “a mystery box” because “You open it up and it’s like there’s a bunch of veins and fatty little clumps. My fork broke inside of it and that says something about the chicken.”
Chicken Patty
Aside from pizza, the chicken patty sandwich has become a favorite among students. With its presentation and appearance it creates a welcoming first impression of a simple chicken sandwich. The meal is appealing both in looks and taste. The chicken is consistent throughout the patty, it’s tenderness is balanced with a slightly crispy exterior which adds a satisfiying crunch. The bun, despite only being wheat bread, compliments the patty well in texture and taste which completes to the dining experience of the chicken sandwich as a whole.
The slight sweetness of the chicken is balanced well with the bland profile of the bun. The crispy chicken exterior and tender chicken interior are paired well with the soft, barely stale bread. Overall, the chicken sandwich is and will continue to be a strong favorite in the cafeteria.
Deli Sandwich
In the first couple of weeks of the school year, the kitchen served only cold foods. The most common of which was the deli sandwich. There’s nothing special about the sandwich, but it serves as an excellent go-to when you want something quick and easy to eat.
The deli sandwich typically consists of a hoagie roll, American cheese, and some type of lunch meat, usually ham or bologna. On one or two rare occasions, the deli sandwich has been served with lettuce. It’s a staple lunch food and fits perfectly into the school cafeteria setting. The bread, surprisingly, doesn’t seem to be whole wheat, and the meats and cheese aren’t bad. Sure, american cheese creates an odd texture in the cold sandwich, but ultimately it makes sense.
Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
Peanut butter and jelly. A classic sandwich combo and a sandwich most kids will have eaten before graduating elementary school. The cafeteria makes all the right choices when it comes to PB & J. First, creamy peanut butter. As any respectable critic knows, peanut butter can make or break a quality PB & J. As I always say, “When in doubt, creamy peanut butter sorts it out.” While crunchy peanut butter has potential, often providing a new texture to the familiar sandwich, it proves to be too abrasive for many students. This makes it a poor candidate for cafeteria food, which should ideally appeal to as many students as possible.
In the interest of catering to many students, sun butter sandwiches are also available for students with nut allergies. Due to the nature of a PB & J, pre-assembly of the sandwich is a bad move – the jelly would deep into the bread, creating a soggy, unpleasant dining experience. The cafeteria sidesteps this issue by separating the bread from the peanut butter and jelly, in turn allowing students to apply their preferred amount of peanut butter or jelly to the bread.
This article was submitted to the BSA Muse by an external contributor. If you would like to submit an Op-Ed, please email Quinn Bryant and Alex Taylor or musebsa@bsfa.org.